Blackberry picking is
addictive. You set off merrily with an empty plastic container, spy some tantalisingly
good-looking blackberries peering out from under some leaves, make a bee-line
for them, and start picking. Close, up, they might be a bit shrivelled, rotten,
or not quite ripe. They could be far into the bush, past some nasty brambles. You’ve
only just started, but, compulsively, once you see them, you HAVE to pick them.
You can’t just walk past them… There might not be another bush!
Last night I found myself mentally paralysed over a decision
about whether or not to take a gig. I find myself in this horrible state fairly
often when I’m offered a performing opportunity that clashes with something
else. In this case, it was a paid gig
with a choral society in Manchester.
As young musicians, we’re often taught that we HAVE to take
absolutely every gig that comes our way. Because we know (we know SO well) that
work is scarce, competition is fierce, and that every time we say no, we’re
damaging our future careers. We give so much of our time to honing our skills,
it doesn’t make any sense to say no to an opportunity to perform. Right?
Well, I argued it out with myseIf:
On the one hand, “I need to take this. I need the
experience. I need the money. I need another orchestra on my CV. If I say no, I
might not get the next professional audition I apply for. I can take the 8:00
coach from London and the 23:45pm coach back and I’ll be absolutely exhausted,
but I’ll save money and it will just be one day of my life. If I say no, I might
not be asked again.”
On the other hand, “Actually, transport expenses will cancel
out the fee. It’s not a rewarding piece of repertoire; I don’t feel inspired to
play it, and it won’t challenge me. It will set my energy levels back and rob
me of time to practice and develop other opportunities. Also, I had planned to
spend this weekend celebrating my husband’s birthday.”
So, after agonising for about two hours (I kid you not) and
searching online for the cheapest transport options out there (shout out to megabus.com!),
my answer was NO.
As I pressed send on my email, I thought, 'Please, please,
let there be another opportunity for me - a better blackberry bush around the
corner!'
In a lovely case of synchronicity, I checked
my email at 6:30 this morning, and somebody has offered me work performing in care homes local
to me. YES! This is a way better blackberry bush, and I’ve been looking for one
like this for ages! This gig excites me, is local to me, is in line with my
beliefs about using music to serve others, and there’s even some financial profit
involved.
The truth is… there generally is another blackberry bush
around the corner. Not always. But usually, if you keep on walking. And if your
lunch box is full of puny hard blackberries, you won’t have space for the lush,
ripe ones just a few steps down the road! You could even turn around, thinking
you’ve accomplished your goal, without ever knowing what you’re missing.
Of course we need to take good opportunities that are
offered to us – that will build us up and give us good experience. But let’s
not undervalue ourselves! I think that one of the best skills we can develop is
to know when to accept and when to say no.
We need to be able to say no with absolute confidence that we are not
damaging our careers, but protecting them. Our time is precious. For me, it’s
also about cultivating my faith that God is good, and provides for all of us.
Blackberry picking isn’t easy. I’ve been stung by wasps, scratched
by brambles, and got my fingers covered in mouldy blue liquid. But for the
chance to taste those big, purple, juicy, sweet ones… mmmm….it’s so worth it!
I have to give my husband, Richard, credit for this blog. He
introduced me to the wondrous activity that is blackberry picking, and he came
up with the blackberry bush analogy to help me to make my decision. The photo is also his!
